Swag

A Spasm of Indbur

I have never lacked storage space. I have been blessed and cursed with sufficient room to save my chattels, bibelots, tchotchkes, gadgets, appurtenances, and just plain stuff for my entire 'adult' life. I have often been encouraged to dispose of some of the less-useful of these possessions*. I ignore those who offer the suggestions, although I've made the occasional concession of horizontal and vertical translation for the bulkier items. Infrequently, though, I am self-inspired, and recently attacked a large box of random objects with the intention of <shudder>discarding some</shudder> to make space. Selecting a box almost at random, I inspected each item therein to discover that it harbored a long-forgotten collection of trade-show swag and life-detritus which jogged my memory but will never, ever, have any practical use. Unlike trivia, which can at least be used to bore people, these items serve no purpose at all beyond reminding me of my pack-rat nature. With foolish reluctance, I consigned them and their many unpictured conspecifics to the ignominy of the trashcan after their decades in hiding. It is only for my own future nostalgia that I present the photo below.

Care to try to identify the items? Hint: Not a single Third-Reich swizzle stick. But, among the items:
An I Take Chocolate From Strangers button An unrecognizable gadget from IEM A Jeppesen paper clip A ZR1 Active Member registry card	A Blinx Electronic Clothing Company rubber stamp A Rockwell International Nav Core V badge A Ronald Reagan campaign button A Mason and Madison magnetic compass	Two Trimble GPS key rings A Continental Club patch A SETI Project Argus Launch pin AND MORE

Are you wondering about the misshapen backdrop on the rug under the swag? Flattened as best I could manage, it's a poster of aerobatic ace Patty Wagstaff posing on behalf of BF Goodrich at an avionics convention in the '90s. It's entirely possible that her autograph is genuine! I don't remember and certainly can't vouch for it. She remains in the flying business, now offering upset training.
Oh yes, there was ancient souvenir chocolate! Russia! Ghana! (Not shown: China!) All sadly inedible even by my standards by the time I addressed this long-stored collection. It was just a box of swag, and I know who put it there. Discard it as it's weeded, eat it if you dare. It's an ancient box of swag, it's all gone to who-knows-where, and I hope that it remains gone, never to reappear.

Q: Richard, surely you have more swag than this small collection of exemplars!
A: Much, much more

Such as:

• A Nathan's Famous paper cap
• A framed art captioned "Get to Work:You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your Dreams."
• An Arecibo Observatory water tumbler
• A stuffed penguin from the top of the television set

This was a big box, and one of several. You've been spared the unidentifiable, the uncharacterizable, and the disgusting. It's all gone.

Shall we move along? How about a review of my new Samsung S24 Ultra cell phone?

As with X-linked recessive traits, my cell phones tend to skip generations. My previous cellphone, the Samsung S22 Ultra, received a review a couple years ago. I took care to demonstrate what I viewed as its best feature, its improved camera. I skipped buying the S23 last year because the improvements were few and minor. Sadly, this year's S24's improvements over the S23 also seem few and minor. Samsung touts the AI (yes, Artificial Intelligence) features in the new phone, and I'm sure that as I find the time I'll experiment with the photo editing and other allegedly new and remarkable capabilities. But, really, I bought it mainly because it's a new toy** and I thought it was time.

But I had one pleasant surprise! The phone has a new processor, much faster than that of two generations ago. Since I'm not a gamer, I never really noticed or cared about processor speed. But I have a goofy hobby of photographing vanity license plates as I walk by them or they drive by me. A double-press of the power button used to take a couple of seconds to bring up the camera. Now it's almost instantaneous. And the phone still has a TB of storage and a titanium-blue back, so I didn't have to give anything up for the new speed. I do believe the camera is a bit better, but I haven't done a formal test yet. I'll report on the AI if and when I ever get to use it.

That's Not Much of a Review!

True. The two phones even look the same. I think it's time for Samsung to rethink the cellphone if they want me to keep buying new ones.

It's almost time to end this blogitem. Next up: Lindtflation, cash, Oppenheimer, balloons, and more come logical tomorrow. For now, a Beatles joke.

I Once Had a Gird

* I.e., all of them.
** As Lene Lovich would put it, ooh-ay-ooh

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