Two Three Conspiracy Theories

I Have Two Theories

Q: Whose theories are they?
A: Well, actually, nobody's.  I don't really have them as theories.  Or even guesses or hypotheses or speculations.  I just made them up.  After all, that's how most conspiracy theories come into being.  Why should I work any harder, do <Ugh>research</Ugh>, and, if I'm correct, put my life in danger?
Q:  Good points all.  So what are these not-theories?

Theory the first is that the government knows what it's doing.

Have you noticed that prices are more or less stable?  Including that of gold?  If we had terrible inflation caused by the "stimulus" package, prices would be rocketing.  If we had terrible deflation, caused by the fact that everyone is broke and can't afford to buy stuff, prices would be plummeting.  Is it remotely possible that the enormous loss of value of Wall Street Gone Wild is being approximately offset by Congress going wild?  And that your government in action is responsible for keeping things more or less stable?

Theory the second is that the government, despite the turmoil and apparent randomness of all this, actually has a plan and is doing the "right" thing.

When oil prices started shooting up, the Russians became increasingly feisty.  Maybe we took a look, made a calculation, and decided that some financial turmoil over here was better than a second "cold war."  And maybe it is!  We will recover eventually.  Not so much if the Russians bought the world with their oil loot.  (To be sure, they'd have to share it with the Saudis.) 

So do you believe any of this?  Neither do I, but it's not impossible.  Stranger things have happened—just read the National Enquirer.

The Third Theory

My CFLs are dying like the little moths that seem to be appearing everywhere.  (Perhaps even a fourth conspiracy.  I suppose they could be spy-moths.)

Unlike the dying moths, in which I have a hand—literally—in dispatching, the CFLs seem to be dying all by themselves.  They are supposed to last seven years.  I've had some that only lasted a few weeks, although most seem to die long before they should, but long after I've forgotten when or where a particular lamp was purchased.  Which makes it hard to return the bad ones to the store.  The evil stores and their officious managers want, for some reason, to know if you bought the bulb(s) from them.  Well, I'm fixing that:  I'm photographing the bulbs with the receipt, and then marking the bulb bases themselves with the store and date.

Ha!  Try to deprive me of my lawful photons!  

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NP:  "The Actress" - Melanie

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